Time For a Mental Toothbrushing

Annually, around this time of year, I have always taken time to “mentally” sort things out. Over time, I have affectionately referred to this exercise as a “mental” toothbrushing. I have found the exercise so helpful that in addition to this usual year-end “brushing” I try to also do several “brushings” throughout the year. Some of you may do something similar (at least I hope so). For those of you who don’t, well you’re cheating yourself, your business/career and most importantly your family of an excellent opportunity to make things better. Unless of course, your one of those rare folks who isn’t happy unless they are complaining about something. If you are, then stop reading now and go bash someone or something on your “facebook” account.

So with that as background, let me share with you three important things you need to be thinking about as you brush your “grey matter”. Now there are other important issues but for now, I just want you to think about these. Why? Well, because they go beyond what you do and focus on who you are and who you can be.

1. All of us from time to time have been called upon to make a choice between time spent with our family versus time spent at work or in business. The choice is never an easy one and, despite our best intentions, we sometimes place business/work ahead of our family. Now, there are times when a choice favoring a business decision is unavoidable. But, in reality, we find it easier to “choose” the business path more times than is necessary or required. In fact, some of us even go as far as to “make up” reasons to rationalize why putting business first is the right choice. Imagine? When this happens to you, you make what is called a “withdrawal” from your family emotional bank account. Like all bank accounts, if you don’t periodically make “deposits” (i.e. time spent with family) you will eventually run the balance down to zero and quite possibly get overdrawn. The account then gets “closed”. Then what? You owe to yourself and your family to make more deposits than withdrawals so you can accumulate massive amounts of emotional capital for the future.
2. Some of us (more than you think or will admit to) like to downplay our success. But why? You work hard; you save and you do the best you can to provide for your families well being. There is no guilt in celebrating your success and having fun. You earned the right to do so. There is also nothing wrong in investing in your family’s well being. If you have your health and a lifestyle that meets your needs (and you are proud of it) then celebrate it. Look for every chance to celebrate the times you spend together – today and the many tomorrows that lie just over the horizon.
3. Now here is an important bit of information that I recently found – over 50% of the most damaging arguments are started or magnified within 15 to 20 minutes of people – family members – greeting each other when they walk in the door to their home at the end of their work day – Don’t let the outside world dictate the quality of the relationships that exist in your family – fight it – use your travel time home as a transition.
4. Here’s a bonus – Many of us spend far too much time focusing on what others have or what is missing in our lives. Over the next few weeks and through the end of the year, conduct an honest assessment of where you are and where you want to get to. Acknowledge that the only person who can help you is you. The good news is you already have most of the tools needed to get to where you want to go. So, create your road map – your vision; set goals and get started right now. Whatever you don’t have, you can pick up (learn) along the way. Take complete responsibility for your life and journey. If you want more then pursue it honestly, with passion and with focus. Let the journey begin.

All of these points tend to surface in my work with my coaching clients. In addition, whenever possible, they are underlying themes of many of my presentations as a business motivational speaker. I like many of you throughout my working career, have struggled with all of these issues (and many others). There is no “one size fits all” solution. You have to remain constantly focused on finding the right balance. One key way of maintaining this balance is to always be focused on who you are and to never let your career, job or business define who you are. You can and must be bigger.

Believe in yourself and have faith in your abilities to successfully meet any challenge that you face. When you get tripped up, learn from it but never stop moving forward. Want to discuss solutions to some of the challenges you are facing? Contact me.

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